“...for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Philippians 2:13
Whenever I share my testimony, I talk about the first miracle I saw. In college, God healed my friend of terminal cancer during a prayer meeting. I haven’t been the same since. As I’ve reflected on my faith journey, I realize an equally pivotal moment came years before. I was sitting with some youth group friends discussing a book we’d read about a revival. The author told stories of crazy things happening during this revival– people pulling into the church parking lot and unexplainably bursting into tears. Men walking into the lobby, falling to their knees, and repenting of sin. He even shared a testimony of how one service, the pulpit split in two after an altar call to pursue God more.
A fiberglass pulpit. Split in two. With no one touching it. Again...crazy stuff. Especially for some youth group kids from a traditional church. One friend spoke first and said how amazing that sounded. He wanted to see God move in crazy ways, even though none of this was familiar to him. As he spoke, something sparked in my spirit.
The next friend had a much more “thoughtful” response– “I bet he’s exaggerating to sell books?” and “I wonder if they pre-cracked the pulpit to set that up.” As he spoke, something sparked in my mind. He made good points. There is a lot of money in the book game. And pulpits don’t usually just split... Then eyes turned to me.
My spirit had been sparked with wonder, then my mind had been cooled with critique. The moment didn’t feel significant. I was among friends where either response would be met with grace. And yet, a battle raged inside of me. A battle that I now realize was between cynicism and hunger, and who would have first say over my heart. After what seemed like hours, I spoke. I don’t remember exactly what my mouth said. But I remember what my heart felt: “I must...”
If there’s more to God, I must find Him. If He still speaks, I must hear Him. If the book of Acts can still exist, I must be part of it. During this fast, don’t overlook the battle over the simple moments. Cynicism and hunger are battling for you. Which one will we give the reins of our hearts to?
As you reflect, think about a time you chose hunger for God instead of cynicism toward Him.
Pray with me: “Holy Spirit, cultivate a hunger in us this month that sustains us all year. Let us never give the reins of our spiritual lives to anything but You. Teach us to feed our desire for more and starve the critical spirit. Amen.”